Compassion
by Family Councils Ontario
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive”. - Dalai Lama
A simple definition of compassion is “a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc” ("compassion." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2016. Web. 25 April 2016). Compassion can also be defined as “sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it” (ibid.). How does compassion apply to Family Councils? Simply put, compassion helps us to understand others' actions and behaviors, so we can give and receive support. Compassion is a core aspect of peer support.
Compassion allows us to understand when others are in need and to work to alleviate their pain or suffering. This does not mean that we condone or overlook bad behaviour; it simply means that we operate from a position of seeking to understand the reasons behind the behaviour and to help people express their pain. Compassion tells us to be gentle and let people know that you are there for them, while reinforcing that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. Compassion reinforces good behaviour by demonstrating that we all deserve to be heard and supported. Thus, compassion helps us give and receive support when we need to.
How can you put compassion into practice? Compassion can be expressed as acts of kindness, caring and support for others. Operating from a place of compassion also allows people to feel noticed and acknowledged for their pain. Compassion allows us to safely show vulnerability and pain. To put this into practice is as easy as saying to someone “we hear you; you are not alone.” Compassion can mean opening your Council meeting by providing time for people to share their recent struggles and successes. You don’t take action on the points raised during this session, you simply provide space for people to share and let them know that you hear them. Compassion opens up space for people to share their challenges, difficulties and pain.
If someone seems to be angry, upset or expressing other ‘difficult’ behaviours, operating from a place of compassion means trying to understand the emotions behind the behaviour and providing support. Does someone seem unreasonable upset or angry about something you’re discussing at your meeting? In this situation, compassion would mean asking that person how they feel about the discussion item and if there is something else going on that is bothering them. Maybe they’re not actually upset about the new pet therapy kitten. Maybe they’re actually upset that their mom’s dementia symptoms are worsening and they’re feeling a loss of control. Compassion means seeking to understand the emotions behind the behaviour and acknowledging the pain.
Family Councils provide invaluable opportunities for people to give and receive support. One of the most valuable aspects of a Family Council meeting is knowing that you are not alone; that the other members understand your journey. Understanding and operating from a place of compassion allows us to fully understand emotions and support authentic expression. Compassion provides us with a foundation upon which to build a strong Council and strong LTC community.
How does your Council practice compassion? Let us know! Go to https://www.facebook.com/FamilyCouncilsOntario/ and share your thoughts.